@LilBlueBlood: Whenever I have to park in a bad neighbourhood I leave my Blackberry in plain sight so people know there's nothing worth stealing in my car
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@PajamaStew: Through a telescope, I see a woman on a planet light years away. She waves. I wave. I awkwardly realize she is waving to the guy behind me.
@Sassafrantz: *rises out of neighbor's hot tub* I'd like to talk to you guys about home alarm systems...
@caliluvgirl77: [first date] Boy: so where are you from? Me: [points to all you can eat sign] I live here now.