@Parentpains: Whenever I hear about a man jumping off a bridge I can't help but wonder how long he was dating my ex.
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@DarthSteveus: Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
@slimmy_shady: Hot girls who complain that you can't get laid... do you live on a deserted island?
@_Mo_lee_: Guy:Hey what are you doing? Girl:unzipping it Guy:why? Girl:I want to see how big it is. .. *Unzips tent and gets inside* Girl:nice, nice..
@lovemydogduck: I drank so much wine last night when i walked across the dance floor to get another glass, i won the dance competition.