@Dutch_50: Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once.
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@TheReal_AndyMac: Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you burritos and a Slip N' Slide. So you do the math.
@PorkUrPine: Me: *delivers fantastic presentation* Fish Boss: great work! Me: thanks for letting MINNOW what you think! Fish Boss: you're fired.
@MichaelTrying: I didn't realize that "sow your wild oats" is a metaphor, so I pretty much spent my early twenties farming.