Whenever I see a bruise on a banana my first thought is pity, but then I think it probably deserved it because I slipped on a peel once.

@Contwixt: I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

1

@WilliamAder: My suspicious mole cancelled my appointment with a dermatologist.

34

@EllieM72: The moderator needs a spray bottle. Each time someone interrupts, they could just be like: "NO! BAD PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE! BAD!! *spray*

76

@SCbchbum: Lady next to me in 50 Shades pulled out her glasses & asked if she missed the good part. I said no, the credits weren’t rolling yet.

3

@withanewname: It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change

1

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