@theshamingofjay: Whenever I see an account with a persons full name I always check to see if they're famous or stupid
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@Kristen_R5: summer is real cute until every frickin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
@tigersgoroooar: Just saw a car with a license plate that says FLSH ME. Ok, douche. What are you, a dead goldfish? Flush yourself.
@iGreenMonk: Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight.