@jonnysun: whenever i see sombody obsessively taking photos of the sunset, i go up to them & whisper "dont worry.. the sun is gonna come back tomorow"
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@mynameisntdave: GUY: I heard a pianist keyed ur car. What are u gonna do? [flash forward to me hitting the pianist's piano with my car] ME: car his keys.
@derpintine: 'So Timmy, how did you fall into that well?' 'Oh. I never fell in, I was p- *sees Lassie do cut throat motion* -was jumping in.'
@Book_Krazy: Couple: [hands me camera] Do you mind taking a picture? "Sure"[click] Couple: How does it look? "I just got my hair done, so pretty good"
@dsmitty62: I see Paris, I see France, I got a great new pair of binoculars from an overpriced sporting goods store today