@batkaren: Whenever I see WHOA spelled as WOAH, I assume it's referring to Noah's evil twin whose Ark housed all the insect and arachnid life.
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@DevilryFun: I'm so tired, I'm thinking of visiting my grandma just so I can take a swig outta her oxygen tank.
@IAmKashWah: Interviewer: How do you hit those high notes? Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me? Adam Levine: Practice.
@GeriatricBeards: *throws coin in fountain* stranger: can you not do that? Me: just want my wish to come true S: this is a drinking fountain m: wish came true
@FeverFlave: *waking up to dog kisses* Good morning...such a good boy...yes I love you too...you raided the garbage again didn't you...