@Parentpains: Whenever I'm on twitter I always turn my phone upside down to try and collect spare change from your pockets.
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@UncleDuke1969: Yelp* now has jail reviews. (true) Felon87: Try for Block C. Great ambient lighting, management is courteous & the risotto is 'to die for'.
@david8hughes: Me: ugh. The radio these days is full of bad news. Burglary over there, stabbing over here. Just turn it off please Arresting officer: no
@pleatedjeans: [Xmas morning] wife: Honey, is this a dolphin? We agreed no dolphins. "dolphin-shaped gift flopping wildly under tree* me: JUST OPEN IT