@QwertyJones3: Whenever my dachshund acts up I show him a pack of hotdogs in my fridge and he falls right back into line
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@tehaveragejoel: *bites nails* Sorry. Bad habit. I haven't been on a date in a while "I can see why" she says, pulling her fingers out of my mouth
@aveuaskew: My dad only says I love you on special occasions like birthdays, holidays, and competency hearings.
@Bandersnaaatch: Sorry I haven't been able to get back to you, I've been pretty busy chasing this cherry tomato around my plate with a fork. Almost. Got. It.
@LanieLalaBugs: If my psychiatrist said "There's really nothing more I can do for you", that means I'm cured right??