@QwertyJones3: Whenever my dachshund acts up I show him a pack of hotdogs in my fridge and he falls right back into line
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@WheelTod: [Date] Him: I don't trust myself around you Her(flirtatiously): Oh, stop Him: I bought an iPad on your credit card when you went to bathroom
@Book_Krazy: [Dinner date] I'm a T-shirt and jeans kind of girl, so I guess I'm kinda a momgirl "You mean tomgirl?" Don't talk with your mouth full.
@AimeeHelene1: (telling a ghost story) You know those knocking noises you hear at night? That's adulthood coming for you! *all the adults start screaming*