@waydybee: whenever someone i know introduces me to someone else i say, "oh, this is the one u were talking about" &watch the awkward stares!
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@mattgallo123: Plastic silverware: because the only thing I hate more than poisoning the environment is washing dishes.
@ValeeGrrl: 5yo: [loudly whispers] MOMMY, SEE? WE'RE LETTING YOU AND DADDY SLEEP! AREN'T WE DOING GOOD? Me: [in bed] Yeah. You're doing GREAT.