@waydybee: whenever someone i know introduces me to someone else i say, "oh, this is the one u were talking about" &watch the awkward stares!
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@Birdhumms: I believe you cannot save people, you can only just love them. Which is probably why my job as a lifeguard didn't last long.
@krisv_723: Fred realized too late that he should have bought a fresh sheet for his toga, when he walked into the black light party.
@KeetPotato: [petting friend's new guidedog] so how did you get here? "he brought me" wow [later in bed w/ wife] did you know dave's dog can drive a car?
@pinupteacher: ME: For my final wish, I'd like to lose some weight. GENIE: Only way is to eat less and exercise more. ME: This is bullshit.