@chris_isloi: Whenever someone is about to tell me about their day, I just cover my ears and yell "SPOILER ALERT!"
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@jonnysun: lets play cops & robbers! ok! i'll be robber! i'll be cop! *robber hides* *cop just starts wrestling all the black kids in the neigborhood*
@AnkCoupleTO: [doing crossword] Me: I'm looking for a word that means slight pause Her: Hiatus? Me: *erasing 'our sex life'* thanks
@weinerdog4life: Yes hello 911, I put a smaller microwave inside a bigger microwave and now there's a wormhole in my kitchen