@notthat_1: Whenever someone talks to me, I freak out because I forget people can see me.
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@clindsaysway: We got a tornado warning, and I'm too scared to open my windows. Don't want any sharks in my house.
@ch000ch: i listed my ex as my emergency contact at my new job bc if i have a heart attack i need to tell kathy to burn in hell one last time
@Sickayduh: "What's that?" - My new boss. He's very deciduous" "Decisive?" - Nope. I carved him from a potted tree. *squirrel peeks out of his mouth*
@GrrrRach: How the hell wizards don't set fire to themselves, I'll never understand; attempting to make potions and stuff, with those dangly sleeves.