@BrattyBarbie: Where there's a will there's an "OMG! What's it say!? What does it say?".
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@jonnysun: how to talk to a woman wearing headphones: 1. be the artist she has currently chosen to listen to through her headphones
@doktorj: Teach a man to fish and you'll have a lot more precious time to yourself in a quiet house with no one wanting something every 15 minutes.
@JoParkerBear: Protect your Twitter account from plagiarism by only tweeting things that nobody cares about.