@biggsmoke814: Where's Jesus when you need him. There's only 2 fish sticks left and I've got company coming.
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@jake_likes_naps: HER: [she puts her hand down my pants] mm what do we have in here ME: [sweatin because thats where I keep my chicken mcnugget stash] nothin
@divatulips: Give me coffee to change the things i can change and wine to accept the things i can't.
@jonnysun: ME EVREY MORNIG: nonono no noNO no NONO NO!!! ME EVREY NIGHT: u know wat wil make my morning amazing?! setting my favorite song as my alarm