@shkeeber: Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
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@Reverend_Scott: [Glass slipper fits on ugly girl with same shoe size as Cinderella] Prince Charming: Um... well. Tell ya what, I'm gonna keep on looking.
@tastefactory: BLIND DATE TIP FOR WOMEN: Throw a fork into the wall behind ur date so he has to turn around, to make sure he doesn't have a hidden ponytail
@mauleePillar: Someone just sat across from me at a table at Starbucks. They got too close to my food so I bit them.