@shkeeber: Which emoticon indicates the desire to cover someone with fire ants?
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@Beerhaze: If you have streaks of purple, green or blue in your hair, I will try to eat that cotton candy off your head until you tell me to stop.
@jazmasta: *strums ukulele* This one goes out to my ex wife, Lucy. It's called "I know how much you hate ukuleles so I wrote a 9 minute ukulele song"
@sip_at_home_mom: I always hated videos of animals being shot with tranquilizer darts to trap and transport them. Now, I'm calculating the toddler dosage.
@SummerRay: I was the first person to install trampolines in musician's tour buses and now everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.