@robfee: While a gun does make for a cool weapon on The Walking Dead, the most effective weapon against the zombies is probably lightly jogging?
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@flashember: WIFE: This is dumb. DAUGHTER: This is so stupid. ME: This is getting out of hand! THIS: [leaping out of my palm] I HATE YOU GUYS I'M LEAVING
@tartadepollo: I asked this homeless lady if I could take her home. She said yes, so I walked off with her cardboard box.
@MartaEffing: Just saw a five year old in a track suit & a gold chain. His nana didn't think it was funny when I asked him if he could hook up some blow.