@saraheliza83: Whisper out to librarians!
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@Kyle_Lippert: Go to Starbucks. Tell them your name is Dad. Hide in the crowd. Listen as the hipster barista says "Dad?..Dad?..DAD?..DAD?!" & starts crying
@SteveSuckington: If a shark attacks you, punch him in the nose. And if that doesn't work, use your severed arm to tickle his belly.
@Poopy_Pizza_Pal: *boss trying to relate to younger employees* "Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"