@datassque: white people get red in the winter cause the wind too spicy
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@thevickster_sa: Staring out into the horizon.. Me: this is so peaceful, tranquil & romantic [Bf holding up a stuffed lion] Bf:Ah zabenya za dabib du da
@sammyrhodes: My wife: "Can you pass me the stud finder?" Me: "You're the stud finder!" *deep, awkward silence* Me: "Here it is."
@gorrdano: Don't ever let anybody outshine you in life. If that means arriving at someone's funeral in a casket, then so be it.
@TheEllenShow: I love the Olympics #OpeningCeremony. It reminds me of that time I had to run to the creek when my sleeve caught on fire.