@StevieKnip: Who called it a Spanish teacher instead of an instruction Manuel?
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@iamburtjarvis: british waiter: what topping would ye fancy on yer pizza? british guy: tea british waiter: jolly good choice [both laugh britishingly]
@mattZillaaaa: "911, what is your emergency?" Yes I can't hear my television "Sir, this is not an emer-" Someone keeps screaming "HELP ME!!" next door
@CourtRundell: My parents waited way too long to tell me about Santa and the Easter Bunny. I was so mad I got in my car & drove away.
@kevinrowe1: I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon.