@Fred_Delicious: Who cares about the new GTA when you can sit down and enjoy the new testament
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@goldengateblond: PROPOSAL: Rebrand shootings as "late-term abortion." Watch the GOP scramble to stop them.
@coryrichardson_: me: [trying to impress date] i have a PHD... a pretty huge d- her: Don't say it, im leaving [later] me: *feeding my enormous dolphin* sorry buddy, i guess she doesn't like dolphins
@oxygenplug: If I was a doctor I would scare my patients by pretending to go check google every time they asked me a question