@warhorse76: Who invented Bull Riding? Hey, I'm gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me.
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@prodigalsam: "I wish I had more time to read" he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode.
@IamEnidColeslaw: Why aren't the people in old timey photos ever smiling? Because they were in constant danger of getting eaten by dinosaurs. READ A BOOK.
@hurlarious: [INT. STARBUCKS - DAY] Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom Barista: ? Me: A large rat Barista: ? Me: THERES A VENTI RAT IN THE BATHROOM