@Scimommy: Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.
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@DrawingShadows: Answer: Marijuana Question: Why am I sitting here on the couch eating ice cream with a fork, watching Telemundo and wearing one sock?
@hythemafia: MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very, very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.......
@Dis0beyJay: [at wedding] Is there any reason why these two shouldn't be wed? * me yelling * SHE THINKS WOLVERINE COULD BEAT PREDATOR *pianist vomits*
@PyrBliss: A dragonfly just landed on my face an I reacted the same way I'd react if an actual dragon had landed on my face.