@slimmy_shady: Who the friggin hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere. You just let one into your home and it becomes your cat.
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@Dawn_M_: The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
@Kendragarden: Gay marriage is about to become legal in England. Hey, America, how does it feel when your parents are cooler than you?
@Naggalie: I ordered a coffee and the barista asked what size. I told her size didn't matter. We laughed. Then she gave me an extra large coffee.
@Liffonmelsmork: It's getting cold in here So take off all your clothes Then we can make a fire with them