@slimmy_shady: Who the friggin hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere. You just let one into your home and it becomes your cat.
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@TheCatWhisprer: Hello Darkness, my old frie- *the lights suddenly turn on* oh it's like that now?
@fillthevacuum: *checks pockets for phone 53 times before jumping in pool* *skinny dips to be on the safe side*
@XplodingUnicorn: My love for my kids is like my data plan: Technically unlimited, but it might get dialed back behind the scenes if they really push it.