@CherBear162: Who the hell buys furniture online? Why would you buy a chair or couch you can't even sit in? What if it has burlap cushions stuffed w/hay?
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@13spencer: “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you-“ *interrupting* haha, he said prick
@tigersgoroooar: Killer with knife to my throat: it's ironic how you're about to die in your living room. Me: actually, that's not really what ironic means.
@Brampersandon_: I have a very particular set of skills *puts down phone* *sounds of a struggle* *yells* Ok you can't see this but I'm totally doing the worm