@nowthisnews: Who wore it best? #Oscars2015
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@bobvulfov: BABY FROZEN STEAK: mommy is he coming back MOM STEAK: no honey—get some sleep [rocky walks into the freezer] ROCKY: time to punch some meats
@R_A_Dadass: My wife has been binge watching episodes of snapped, so I cancelled my life insurance policy, and haven't slept or eaten in days.
@BradBroaddus: Can someone please invent pantyhose that don't rip? I think everyone in this bank just saw my face.