@lenadunham: Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex? Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.
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@trentistweeting: [all the dairy products r hanging out] Milk: lets go drink Cheese: yea Yogurt: yea Whipped cream: my gf says i cant. its scrapbooking night
@AudreyPorne: "Sexy role play.. I'll be a dentist." "I'm here for my appointment" "Did you book in with Karen first?" "No?" "Please leave, I'm very busy."
@buhsbaby_baby: "MAYBE IT'S THE TRANSMISSION!“ I scream helpfully when I drive past anyone who's car is broken down on the side of the road...