@sumpeoplelikeit: Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative.
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@Sanbel11: [job interview for psychic] INTERVIEWER: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? ME: Well played.
@BradBroaddus: I've found that nowadays most people don't like holding hands in public. Especially if you don't know them.
@HannahFlores01: Accepting water from a salesperson is a sign of weakness. *faints from dehydration*