@sumpeoplelikeit: Whoa there, pregnancy test. You just tell us yes or no and we'll decide if it's positive or negative.
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@famoushorse: customers who viewed SHIMMERING LIGHTS OUTSIDE THEIR WINDOWS, also viewed THEIR FEET HELPLESSLY MOVING TOWARDS THE DARKNESS OF THE WOODS
@stevevsninjas: Surgeon: Appendectomies are tricky, you sure you got this? Dr. Wacky Inflatable Tube Man: *flings scalpel into ceiling* You bet!
@Brianhopecomedy: I've tried everywhere so I can confirm that there is no snooze button on a baby.