@sbellelauren: whoever decided how to spell camouflage is a terrible terrible person
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@sanjanaa: Dude yapping nonstop at the gym just said he works out in the afternoons to avoid people who talk. Is it okay to fling a dumbbell at him?
@catcerveny: Me: Dude, back off. You're totally scaring away all the hot guys checking me out at the gym. H: You do realize I'm your husband, right?
@akmalshamil: *goku flies into the sunset* not knowing how the sun and earth really work he says "WHAT THE HELL WHERE'S THAT SUNSET BEEN FLYING FOR DAYS"
@juliussharpe: A lifetime of fire drills has prepared me to completely ignore the alarm during a real fire.