@1Happytwit: Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
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@ShaeAaron: The bills are washed, the dishes are paid, the laundry's in the oven. I'm going to bed.
@johngaysee: My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-(
@ArfMeasures: [being chased round my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on
@AimeeHelene1: Warning to friends: If you piss me off I'll put a for sale sign in my yard and list your phone number to call for inquiries.