@JustForHT: Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn't had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes.
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@CopBroughtPizza: "even if my client did kill his wife, think of the 7.4 billion people he DIDN'T kill." - my first and last day as a defense attorney
@hunz74: A scientist said that fish will evolve into "flish" & will be able to fly. Now I can't stop thinking about "flarks, flhales & flea horses."
@ruinedpicnic: "you look nice" - sweet potato "im so high" - baked potato "you suck!" - roast potato "what have I done" - guy who made talking potatoes
@AlexRogaski: Buying In Bulk In theory: Oh good, I'll have enough chips to last all month In reality: I'm gonna eat 5 family size bags of chips tonight