@JustForHT: Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn't had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes.
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@atragedyoflove: my parents got an amazon echo for christmas & all they do is shout at it & get disappointed by all it can’t do. i've been replaced by alexa & it’s great.
@_SingleBabyMama: My 2yr old tells people that grandma goes to a booty shop. My mom asks that I help her say beauty correctly, but this way is much more fun.
@hardlyrelevant: (interview for construction job) Foreman: Your resume is just pictures of LEGOs? Me: (proudly) Didn't even have to look at the instructions