@T_Bonezzz: Whoever spelled the word Receipt was a friggin idiopt
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@jasonlight73: After my date orders, I always tell the waiter "Nothing for me..I'll be eating later" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!
@trapgrampa: I remember when you could get a dozen eggs, a loaf of bread, and a gallon of milk for a nickel. now they got these damn security cameras.
@kathradical: I got my first period during Shrek 2 live in theaters which means I entered Shrek 2 a child & left a woman
@Dadsbustednuts: I caught my employee sleeping on my office couch today. I didn't know if I should fire him, or tell him what I did on it last night.