@T_Bonezzz: Whoever spelled the word Receipt was a friggin idiopt
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@maurex23: Top 5 birth control methods 1. pills 2. hysterectomy 3. jean jackets 4. crocs 5. putting ketchup all over the fries instead of on the side
@JohnLyonTweets: As a kid one Christmas Eve I set out dog biscuits instead of cookies and it turned out Santa was not a jolly old elf. Not. At. All.
@daplusk: [date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um
@bornmiserable: Always the bridesmaid, never the winner of the office costume party because I keep going as a bridesmaid