@omgthatspunny: Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office is in big trouble. You have my Word.
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@TheTobbie: My mind: "Today was a productive day." My body: "Please don't drink 11 cups of coffee again."...
@Kim_pulsive: There is no way to differentiate between the screams you hear from mass murder, passengers on a plane going down and 5 Tweens seeing a bug
@TrainedHedonist: Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine.
@CaseyMichelle__: Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn't doing his part of the chores around here