@FattMernandez: Who's the fax machine player in Skrillex?
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@Doc_Jyoti: I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them? Why aren't we helping to find them?
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: you can't just deep-fry everything ME: what do you mean? WIFE: I mean put down the cat
@dreamthievin: I get out of awkward dinner party convos by telling people it's my first outing since the psychiatrist declared me unfit to stand trial