@suzieQ0007: Who's this "moderation" character people keep telling me to drink with?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KeetPotato: nurse: "if youre going to give grapes to a baby make sure you cut them in half" me: [visibly confused] wife: "the grapes keith not the baby"
@Sarcasticsapien: Beauty and the Beast is an introvert's worst nightmare. You stay home alone miles from people and then the damn dishes start talking to you.
@KeetPotato: me: "£4,000 for a beehive?" salesman: "sir, there are 8,000 bees in there, that's only 50p each" me: [checking my wallet] "give me 3 bees"
@iamspacegirl: me as a realtor: This house does include a crawl space. It's probably full of bones already, but you can always add more bones yourself.