@suzieQ0007: Who's this "moderation" character people keep telling me to drink with?
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@Rollinintheseat: I hate it when I sit down on a warm public toilet seat and I have to set myself on fire.
@WilliamAder: Weather Girl: I'm looking at six to ten inches tonight. Me, to the TV: But is it going to SNOW?
@krustythe_klown: Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"? Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.
@Home_Halfway: "How much for this melted ghost?" Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys