@suzieQ0007: Who's this "moderation" character people keep telling me to drink with?
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@Token_Geezer: Before twitter I would walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. nnNow, I don't even walk into the right room
@Donnie_Fairburn: DNA doesn't make you a parent. Stepping on a lego guy on your way to the bathroom at 3 am does
@GBRougecity: "What a nice doggie." "I'll have you know it's not a doggie but a pure bred." "YOU HAVE A DOG MADE OUT OF BREAD??!!!!"
@KrazykurtKurt: When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room.