@chrissyteigen: "Whose funeral was this photo taken at?" John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said
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@chuckyhead3: Turns out the button on the elevator with the fireman's hat on it is not the button for a free fireman's hat.
@Book_Krazy: Boss: HR wants to see you Me: What for? Boss: Mandatory drug test Me: Oh man, I really can't do any more drugs after the weekend I had
@Dawn_M_: When people are kissing in public, it's weird how angry they get when you try and join in.