@welltbh: why are clothes so expensive???? i should not have to pay this much to not be naked. people should pay ME to not be naked
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@Matt_The_1st: "Dad, you were at 63%, so I unplugged your phone to plug mine in" *Drives ex-son to homeless shelter
@Vodkantots: In hell, every day is Thanksgiving and you're never allowed to unbutton your pants.
@yab_kat: [gets pulled over] Officer: *through window* Do you know why i pulled you over? Me: *punches steering wheel* answer the man you criminal car