@gkaluma: Why are government cars always in a hurry!! That sense of urgency is not reflected anywhere in their official duties.
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@BradBroaddus: My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full.
@dril: broke secret sevrice guy turns his pocket inside out and strangles an assassin with it. opens wallet and unleashes a torrent of moths at him
@novicefather: You say my obsession with Justin Bieber tore us apart but I say my momma don't like you and she likes everyone.
@BackrowSeats: Been in an accident? Know someone who's been in an accident? If not, call us & we'll come push you down the stairs or something.