@michaelianblack: Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round? They're wheels.
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@BPMbadassmama: I know exactly how President Obama feels. Every time my kids are forced to listen to me, they make angry Republican faces.
@BumbleDC: *accidentally summons malevolent demon at a séance* I WILL HAUNT YOUR HOME FOREVER! [4 days later] YOU KNOW, YOU COULD CLEAN UP OCCASIONALLY
@Iwriteforcats: Her: Wanna "lex" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles.