@heatherlou_: Why couldn't I have been born rich instead of so ridiculously witty?
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@ClichedOut: *opens kitchen drawer* Me: Whoa, what's with all the whisks? Sir-Mix-a-Lot: Why you judgin me?
@fightforfood: The first person to milk a cow probably saw a baby cow nursing and was like oh yeah people do that too and I have no food I don't wanna die
@Underchilde: Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?
@CopBroughtPizza: i'm reading this thesaurus. it's really interesting, or should i say... very interesting.