@heatherlou_: Why couldn't I have been born rich instead of so ridiculously witty?
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@Contwixt: The day we decided such footwear would be called "flip-flops" was not our most creative moment.
@TheToddWilliams: [creation] GOD: You each have a gift WORM: What's mine? G: You…spin silk BEE: How bout me? G: Uh…make honey HIPPO: And me? G: Hm…eat marbles
@bombscribe: If a coworker has two apples in his right hand and two oranges in his left hand, what does he have? No chance of blocking an uppercut.