@polyhumorous: Why did it have to be the dog? I have the hubby insured for $1.5 million.
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@djdarrellripley: Police Officer: You know, this is a one way street? Me: I was only going one way...
@jonnysun: *stares at phone* why cant i sleep *puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun* oh
@garrydavenport: Next time my 5 y/o says "Daddy, guess what?", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years.