@TheTweetOfGod: "Why do bad things happen to good people?" To even out the good things that happen to bad people.
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@Iwriteforcats: Me: Would you have a minute to speak about my lord and savior, nachos supreme? Her: Sir, for the last time just tell me your order.
@SufficientCharm: GOD: Let's give her ALL the awesome. "But what if it's TOO much awesome?" GOD: Then we'll divide it evenly between multiple personalities.
@ObscureGent: Can't go to sleep. I'm not sure if I should blame the cup of coffee I had at noon or vintage clown doll sitting at the foot of my bed.
@Storminika: Good things about drinking on the plane: 1. You don't have to drive. 2. No matter how much you drink, they can't throw you out.