@TheTweetOfGod: "Why do bad things happen to good people?" To even out the good things that happen to bad people.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SamuelHLowe: - Hello, princess. Can I call you princess? - No. - OK then, Mr. Smith, let's just get started with your prostate exam.
@flashember: [writing last will and testament] and to Oliver i leave my "Why I Taught Bears To Use Swords" memoir BEAR: [from outside] FIGHT ME U COWARD
@MelKassel: *pulling up to toll both with megaphone in hand* Booth operator: ma'am please not again Me: someBODY once tolled me—