@NYC_Blonde: Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over? HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES
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@squirrel74wkgn: I'm pretty sure the coupon I gave you for a $7 haircut suggests that I'm not interested in that $44 bottle of shampoo, but thank you.
@C3Ballin: Life was simpler when photo albums were books containing pleasant family snaps and not digital online librarys of me puking in a shoe.
@AmandasNotFunny: Sitting in my car eating McD's, and I hear a quiet voice behind me go: "Here, we have The Fat Woman in her natural habitat.."