@Stellacopter: Why do cops get mad when other cops have jurisdiction over a case? I'd be like cool I'm going home to eat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SardonicTart: Me: Wow this recumbent bike is pretty comfortable. Trainer: Ok now start pedaling. Me: What?
@sad_tree: When people say "You can fit a million earths in the sun!!!" I'm like: Hey. Maybe we shouldnt put any earths in the sun. The sun is hot.
@cornlog: My son is screaming his head off in his room but there's no way I'm going in there if his monster reports are true.
@RoosterMustache: Assert dominance over your boss by choosing an elevator button higher than the one he picked & act like its a big deal to wait for his floor