@mrjohntofu: Why do girls keep giving me their fax numbers?
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@bourgeoisalien: Sometimes I buy enormous pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
@WildeThingy: In the UK we celebrate Thanksgiving as the day we managed to ship all our paranoid religious fundamentalists off to another continent.
@EviGarth: 'LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.