@mrjohntofu: Why do girls keep giving me their fax numbers?
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@apollilaire: hello id like a reservation for two. also what is yr policy on cats. i wanna bring like seven cats. ive practiced fitting them on one chair
@mattytalks: Actually Jennifer, diamonds are a girls best friend, so technically I slept with your second best friend
@rainerfm: Little did I know the first time I bought a 3-pack of condoms that I was buying a lifetime supply.
@theshamingofjay: "Sit" dog sits "Down" dog lays down on floor "Play Dead" dog graduates college, finds job, gets married and has kids