@NYC_Blonde: Why do grocery stores double-bag everything? Like why don't you just make bags that are twice as strong?
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@WildeThingy: A new study shows twitter is more addictive than crack. A scientist who looks suspiciously like my wife said "better put down that phone."
@squirrel74wkgn: No one talks to you on the bus when you're shaking a box of Milk Duds that your head phones are plugged into.
@kelkulus: The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples.