@NYC_Blonde: Why do grocery stores double-bag everything? Like why don't you just make bags that are twice as strong?
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@UncleDuke1969: [typing] Me: Is it DISCREET or DISCRETE? Wife: 2nd. Me: Is "polyamorous" hyphenated? Wife: No. Why? Me: It's for work. When's your flight?
@dumbdora77: News:"a black bear hovered over a convenience store in central Florida for more than seven hours..." They have hover bears? jealous again
@80want: inexplicably call ur boss "shortpants" until he gets insecure & buys pants that are longer. dont stop til he looks like a kid in dad clothes
@Livsey1: "People want to feel special.. they'll buy sugary piss in a bottle as long as it has their name on it." - Executives at Coke