@lecalabara: Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnHilsen: My "friend" Adam gave me an electric toothbrush for my birthday. Completely unnecessary. My gas-powered toothbrush still runs fine, "Adam."
@Social_Mime: Bartender - Would you like to try our pumpkin beer? Me - Can I have a different bartender please?
@tastefactory: VICTIM: He had a beard & a scar SKETCH ARTIST: Is this him? VICTIM: That's Bart Simpson SKETCH ARTIST: Yeah I can only draw a couple things