@lecalabara: Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain.
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@UncleDuke1969: Growing up, Sesame Street taught me the importance of education, empathy, and kindness. Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, taught me that revenge on my enemies should be quick, clever, and brutal.
@LizHackett: How enormous was the spider I just found in my bathtub? It put down its Kindle, grabbed a nearby towel, and muttered, "Does nobody in this house knock?"