@PaulyPeligroso: Why do people draw sunglasses on the sun? It's like, dude, he's the sun. They make sunglasses because of him.
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@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Because I'm black?? Cop: Sir, you're white, driving 90 in a 30. Me: Racist. Cop: Get out.
@DennisLWeaver: Friend: I love FB but it's gettin a lil boring. Me: Well that's cause all the cool peeps are on Twi- ..uh are all dead. Yeah they all died.