@careworn: Why do people insist on saying "You're next" to me at weddings? Do they not realize how serial killery that is?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@mommywhitfield: Me: I just want to be the center of someone's universe *has kids* Also me: Not like that
@KateWhineHall: "...This one is TOO big. This one is JUST right." -my daughter, picking out her preferred public toilet.
@offbeatoliv: Sister: "Family shot time" Me: "Whooo Hoooo....drink drink drink drink!" Sister: [holds up camera] "I want to take a picture" Me: oh