@crayan9: Why do people say clean as a whistle? Whistles aren't clean, they're full of spit
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@trentistweeting: "My date was cute but he couldnt perform in the bedroom." *cuts to me in bedroom butchering Wonderwall on guitar* i swear this never happens
@STOTLE: If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash
@sweetandweak: Daughter just asked me how to spell bourbon so she's either asking Santa to hook up her old man or writing a letter to child services.