@crayan9: Why do people say clean as a whistle? Whistles aren't clean, they're full of spit
@24HourBitching: Having to share a room with your spouse is absolute nonsense. Even kids get their own rooms...
@Jake_Vig: "Remember six seconds ago when you were comfortable?"
- oscillating fans
@andylassner: Don't hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook.
@misfarber: A little Caesar's pizza joke, eh?
@cjwerleman: Boy, ISIS are going to be pissed when they find out New Atheists talk about God more than them.