@crayan9: Why do people say clean as a whistle? Whistles aren't clean, they're full of spit
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@mactx85: I just now realized the guy at the urinal that complemented my watch might not have actually just been looking at my watch.
@TheWoodenslurpy: Marry a man who surrounds himself with good weather and can provide good weather for you and your children.
@jjhartinger: War & Peace wasn't written to be downloaded on your iPad, Carol. Tolstoy wrote it for you to carry around and impress people with.