@NightTraumaDoc: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
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@MrMichaelRose: *impulsively buys a private island *frolics on the island for several weeks *gets Mastercard bill in the mail WHAT THE F--oh yeah the island
@vineyille: Trapped in a crevice. “Go on boy, get help.” The dog chews off my one free arm. “Ok yeah bring that back to town I guess”
@Playing_Dad: Teacher: Does anyone have questions? Me: If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner? T: Holy Shit