@petfurniture: "why do women always take sooo long to put their makeup on?" because makeup is war paint for Being In Public, clearly
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AverageCorners: I duct taped a stick to the front of the lawn mower today so I could feel like I was riding a majestic unicorn that eats grass super fast.
@zachreinert03: I got fired from being the events coordinator at the local orphanage. I think it's cause family day never really took off
@Bird_Horowitz: Lets get freaky. I mean really Freaky. Like I can't look you in the eye for two days kinda freaky.